What comes to you when you read this title? Are you a little uncomfortable? Are you intrigued? Do you want to keep reading or feel a little put off?I’m talking about embodiment here beautiful, and manifesting some fucking amazing shit in your life just by balancing the endless to-do lists and action with being in a state of pleasure and truly feeling desire and opening yourself up to receiving. We’re in a yummy phase in the moon right now and intuitively I feel it’s a great time start attuning yourself to pleasure in every single way. We’re in 3rd quarter Scorpio which is a very sexy sign.. and a time to acknowledge yourself, your efforts and get yourself into a receiving state. Let go. Breathe. Receive. After I had my girls and being in a giving state for many years (without any self care), I remember trying to think about a desire and feeling it and being surprised that I didn’t feel anything, I was numb. I was always such a passionate, exuberant & sensual woman up until my 30’s – I was quite a powerful manifester and my life was a living dream, but ego got control, then shame and taboos held back my sexuality (long story) and then kids came and VOILA, I became numb to any of my pleasurable feelings. And yes this includes my sexuality and libido. It has been a long journey to get back into my body and start to feel ALL the feels I had lost over the years. So I ask you… how are you FEELING beautiful? I mean, how are you truly feeling?? Can you deeply feel the swell of emotion (good or bad) coming through you now as I ask that? If you don’t, then I’m going to give you some tips that I have done to get back into my pleasure state.
1. It starts with self care
I’m pretty sure you’ve seen quotes and heard this and it’s like blah blah blah all over Instagram. But seriously honey, you are NOT going to get into a pleasure state without giving back to yourself. If you feel guilt about giving yourself time, then I suggest you see a holistic psychologist or kinesiologist to work through what is going on in your sub-conscious. If you’re not used to it or feel as if you don’t have time, then a 5 minute cup of tea in silence, a beautiful shower or a short journalling sesh just before you sleep. Anything that fills your bucket. You’ve heard this analogy because is freaking true – you cant give from an empty bucket.
2. Do something that makes you feel good everyday
What makes you feel good? Putting on makeup and getting out of those trackies into something nice? Or is it not dressing up and being comfortable and wearing trackies? Do you want to dance? Do some yoga, play with your kids, paint, sing, go for a walk in the sunshine, garden, go to the beach, have a cuppa with a friend? Do something that brings you joy everyday. Real joy. Soon you’ll start to feel that excitement come back – bit by bit. Remember that no one can give you this time – you need to take it.
I love dancing and singing. When I dance – I could do it for hours and hours and same with singing… if I have a tension headache I belt out a couple of tunes and it seriously disappears. Grounding in a beautiful rock pool or the beach is pretty special too…
3. Pleasure yoself woman!
Okay – so this is where the sex magick comes in and this was my light bulb moment and one that filled in ALL the gaps. As women we are sensual creatures but weighed down with patriarchal belief systems that our sexuality is dangerous and dirty. I mean – there is a reason these beliefs were put into place thousands of years ago and it is because our sexuality was recognised as powerful and the masculine powers that be didn’t want to feel responsible for their own feelings of lust or unworthiness. It is our super power and used in the right way can open the doorway to some magickal shit.
In my 20’s I was a magnetic, sensual woman, I consciously manifested so much, because I was always in a pleasure state and could feel deep desire, but I was out of balance spiritually. By the time I was in my early 30’s I felt so much shame and pushed it all away in order to become “spiritual”. Then I had kids and gave myself away even more for another 7 years. What do you think happened to my pleasure state? Zip, nada, numb, resentful. Sound familiar Mamas?
The root chakra & earth star connects us to the earth and materialises our desires. Focussing on this energy centre will activate it and get you feeling sensual and in a receiving state. So what do you do to start feeling “down there”? This has a direct effect on us feeling pleasure in all areas of our life.
(Disclaimer – if you have sexual trauma please do this with guidance from a trained health professional used to treating and assisting in this kind of trauma. You can bring up some heavy stuff if you’re not careful. I have moderate shame around my sexuality and have experienced rape, but everyone is different so please do this ONLY if you feel comfortable with the feelings that arise)
Here’s a few ways to activate your root chakra (a non exhaustable list):
- Breathe. Sit somewhere quiet and private. Close your eyes and focus on the root chakra which is located around the perenium. Take a deep breath and send that breath to the root chakra. Hold your breath for a little in that same area, and then release. Do this a few times, then take long sweeping breathes into the root chakra. Even imagine what you desire while doing this. You’ll definitely feel it. Warning… you might get extremely turned on and I’ve had a friend who has orgasmed doing this. A pretty great side effect!
- Go into a private room and put on some tribal beats or R n B and bend your legs and start swaying your hips. Feel your body, your curves, crevices and pleasure zones. Close your eyes so you can really FEEL the energy swirling as you unlock the tightness in your hips. You might actually feel turned on.. this is good. Your root chakra is activating. You might even check yourself out afterwards while passing a mirror you’ll feel so good.
- Pleasure yourself. If you’re not used to touching yourself, or have some deep seated sexual trauma, you may want to do this with guidance from your psychologist and start really really slow. Remember – all the shame belief systems has come from a patriarchal world view and to embody the divine feminine, we need to start dismantling that belief system within ourselves. Start by loving yourself and activities that I mentioned before and only go here when you feel ready. Touch yourself, masturbate (there I said it), get a vibrator. Use your breath and take deep breathes in your yoni space while you’re doing it. I swear it, it’s fucking amazing and I love to end my day with this. It’s relaxing, my mind stops chattering and I fall asleep so easily. I had to find pleasure in myself again before I could feel open to receiving from my partner. But now I do, I’m happy to feel my own sensuality and invite my partner in.
- Give yourself an aromatic massage or ask your caring partner to do it with you. Get your oils (I use doTERRA) – Jasmine is amazing for sexual purity and cinnamon & ylang ylang are beautiful oils for this use. Dilute them in oil and massage yourself all over your body while taking deep breaths and allowing yourself to love all parts of you. Being in receiving mode is a powerful self love activity.
I have an interesting story of when I was younger, I used to be so scared to go to sleep. Fear of everything that could go wrong in my life (usually death and dying) went through my mind and I couldn’t fall asleep. Fear is the negative aspect of the root chakra. Intuitively, I found that by pleasuring myself, all my fears and anxieties melted away and I could fall asleep easily afterward. I always felt shameful of this because we are inherently taught that masturbating is something that we shouldn’t do, but what I was actually doing was using my intuition and self guidance to balance the fear and bring pleasure into being.
It’s so nice to activate your sensual state, but be warned, over doing it can lead to over energy in the region. Balance it by meditation and higher chakra exercises and bring yourself spiritual pleasure as well.
Manifestation comes from the ether and into the material. If we want to consciously create our life, then we must be the receiving vessel in perfect vibration with our desires, and balance our energies accordingly.
My darlings.. I hope this was insightful for you and I urge you to practice this at home, in your own safety.
If you want to come and explore YOU further, A Divine Feminine Afternoon retreat will be held with Pleasure, Pain & Sex Magick being the topic at the end of February (date to be advised). Please let me know if you would like to come and be a part of the circle.
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